I went on my first Hinge date, possibly even my first ever 'date'. I have never actually dated before - BF's were always friends who somehow became BFs. It was good. We went bouldering. I have the upper body strength and core control but lack the reach. I enjoyed it though. It was good physical activity and it gave the date some focus. He was really nice. We exchanged texts before hand and I said I was a little nervous as it was my first hinge date and he said that I should reframe it to be "we are just two people going climbing and I am teaching you". He is in his mid 20's (not that its a competition DV) but I found him to be intelligent, funny and, this might be the mid 20's thing, really attractive.
We did end up spending the night together. Unplanned and very unexpected. In the morning he said that he was confused and needed to think. He had not expected we would get on so well, and "everything about you is perfect but then there is the age thing". Apparently it would have all been fine if he wasn't so in to me. I told him it was a first date and not to overthink things. He is going to Thailand with friends on Friday so I told him if he wanted to contact me when he got back then that would be great. If he thought it might get a little too complicated (and was scared of that) then that was fine too.
I took my rings off before the date and then put them back on when I got back today. Which kind of makes it feel affair like. I know it's not. But it still feels that way.
I have engaged in conversations with a couple of other people. No-one that has really struck me as someone I'd like to meet. I still find it strange doing the small talk thing.
On the H front, we are back to "getting along". It is half term this week so the kids are home. My H has them every day during the week and a couple of overnights. I have enough friends going through the same thing to know that I am lucky to have a H that cares about his kids so much and told him that I am glad we don't argue like other parents. He thinks it is because "we don't have money problems". I think it is because we are reasonable people willing to put our children above our own disputes.
I forgot to mention that last weekend my H took the kids glamping (or glamorous camping). I had known for some time but found out on the actual day that his mum, stepdad, brother and niece were also going. This to me kind of showed the separation of our families. There is my H, our kids and his family all going camping together, and then there is me and the girls. I know that my didn't mean it to feel like that and he was doing it for the girls, but it felt like that to me. I sucked it up and wished them all a really nice camping weekend. Then I went upstairs to my room and cried a little.
When they got back, my H said that BIL's exGF was upset that BIL took their daughter camping. Apparently she stormed upstairs and threw a suitcase down the stairs at him. H was appalled saying "it's because she doesn't want them to have a nice time without her". I tried to make him understand that it wasn't because of that. It was because she was feeling excluded and it [censored] feeling that way. I don't agree with her having a tantrum in front of their daughter, but I do know that it was coming from a place of hurt. He looked at me strangely and then turned away.
He was cooking dinner at the time (unheard of before MO) and he even put out a plate for me. He then washed up after whilst I dried. It was very "family" like. Crumbs maybe. But I think it was good for the children to see and it is better than fraught and toxic. He also caught himself referring to me as his wife. He went to introduce me to someone, "This is my ... FS". Not reading anything into it - just thought it was funny.
