Dilly/Alison - I cannot ask my H on a date. I think I am afraid that it would lead to an R conversation and every R conversation we have had (and granted they are few and far between) has ended up forcing us into corners. He comes out more determined to remain apart and I come out hurt and angry. Whilst he is unsure, I think the best thing I can do is just give him the space to work it out. I have to balance that with the plaster/bandaid analogy where things are moving at a microscopic pace, but still moving. Sometimes it feels like it is moving towards R and sometime it doesn't. I just have to let it be and see where that path takes me.
Yail - Yes, it would fall to him. I cannot do it. If I do and he is not ready, it will just push him further away. I know there are whispers of doubts playing around in his head. They have always been there. I just don't know if they are fading or getting louder. Time will tell.
Hope - It is always easier to see things objectively from the outside. If reading my sitch helps you to see yours more clearly, then for that reason alone, I am glad that, despite the fact that my entries seem to be very 'samish' (that's limbo for you, not a lot happening but there is plenty of sub-texts), that I journal.
