I feel that it would really be a step backwards for me to stop MC. It seems really important to my wife, even though I don't think that it is really helping anything. In her mind, it is a safe space to talk. She is afraid of conflict, so she likes have the mediator in the room.
You know why it's important to her? So that she can tell her kids later "we tried everything, even MC". I think deep down you know this is true. This is the only reason a woman that is "done" attends MC.
I am scared that you are right Steve, but why do you think I will be better off stopping the MC? Even though I don't think it is really helping, I am not sure why stopping is better. I think in her eyes, it will look like I am not trying and this will give her further justification for D.
Typical LBS fear. You answered your own question: "Even though I don't think it is really helping"
Remember, do what works, don't do what doesn't work. Going to MC with a WAW going through motions never works. Remember what I said about doing things she doesn't expect. She expects that you will continue MC. So think about how it will surprise her.....and it will make her curious, if you stop it. And it will make her even more curious when you say "I need to work on myself so I am going to start IC" will make her even more curious. Curiosity breeds interest. Interest is how attraction starts.
Remember, this stuff is counter-intuitive, but what is intuitive in these sitches have a very small chance of working. Think 5%. The counter-intuitive gives you a better chance. No guarantees, as there are no such thing in these things. Remember, saving your marriage is out of your hands. It is not in your control. So work on saving yourself.....and maybe the marriage will come along as well.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
