So so new to this :(

[Nyla79]

I feel like I am becoming such good friends with you all, thank you so much!

I’ve been househunting because I don’t think I can afford to stay in this house after I’m on my own financially. It breaks my heart because all the kids would want to stay, they say this is home, which it is, even though we’ve only lived in this house for 2 years. It’s also a scary thought to think that I’m moving and having to pick the place all by myself.

My oldest daughter D14 is visiting her aunt, my sister. I was messasing her today when she asked for money. I told her that at this point she needs to ask her father as me transferring money to her would take days and she needs it today. Her reply was: Yuck!

I asked her then if she’s heard from him and she said that they had talked 4 days ago. I asked how things are between them and if she’s ok and does she want to talk about it? She said, they’re not in any terms, she's blaah and does not want to talk about it. I then said that remember that I love you and Daddy loves you too, even though it probably doesn’t make anything better right now. And that we’ll talk when we’re together again.

Is it ok to explain midlife crisis to kids? I can’t just say he’s gone crazy to them, lol, even though for them this seems like it. Is there any guides how to deal with this and kids?

Peacetoday, thank you for your answer, I need to separate our finances now too and get an agreement on alimony, so I’m not dragged in with his spending. Especially now that I have no clue how much and what he’s spending.


DnJ <3 Thank you for your kind and wise words again. I wish I will grow and progress and, in the end, have your insight on things. When you asked me to get intellectual, it did help me to see clearer. Of course, for the children’s sake it will be easier if she’s fun and nice and that they like her too. It’s going to be tough on me though. Sigh. But I think D14 is not going to give this woman a chance. She’s very stubborn and slow to warm up to anyone anyway. And now that she knows why H left, she blames it on her (and him, of course)


Is it normal to start at this stage to wonder if he was right? Maybe we were unhappy? I started to think about it at the gym today. Maybe he wasn’t as wonderful as I thought he was. Am I fighting (or standing) because I was rejected? Maybe he didn't treat me as good as he should have. And walking out on me like that, what a jerk. But at the same time, I know these thoughts are not real. He was a good man, not perfect, but who is.

Today I’m supposed to see H and discuss finances. Wish me luck!

I read this somewhere:
“Trauma creates change you don’t choose.
Healing is about creating change you do choose”


So change, growth, progress, my mantra for this week…