You are spinning hun. Breath. It will be ok. We all fall of the horse. It was before your time here, but after months of DBg I basically threw myself at my H in the most disgraceful way. And I will tell you what all the good people here told me - stop beating yourself up and get back on that horse. You can do this.
You can gloss over it and pretend it didnt happen, go dark or apologise. Do whatever feels right for you. I will bet my last dollar that he would like to pretend it didnt happen. They dont like emotions - it makes them uncomfortable.
FYI - i apologised. Im sorry for my behavior. This is hard but i know that that wasnt fair on you and it is beneath me. It wont happen again. And then carried on. I have faltered since, but never to the same extent.
You will be fine. Head high, back straight, one day at a time. One breath at a time.
