I don't think that's entirely fair, actually. I know that he has acknowledged that he has hurt me deeply and that has had a severe effect on me. That there's healing to do that he's caused, but isn't responsible for. That I need to do my own healing. He has acknowledged that. And he has tried to comfort me and show care for me in the past. And he can't do it now, and I am feeling the lack of that, and feeling incredibly vulnerable that I am trying to show him care and encouragement and understanding while there's nothing coming back, and the time when he's always said he will turn back to me and start giving in the relationship is nearly here and I am so afraid. I am afraid there will be more delay and excuses and I'll have believed him all this time for nothing. I'm afraid that we will try to start fixing it and won't be able to. I am afraid that I will never ever be able to do my healing and let go of this sadness about the way he treated me last year, and that will mean our marriage can never heal. I know it is my responsibility but today I just can't seem to do it.
