Ballast - the choice to engage or not engage is yours. What effect that might have on your W is none of your concern. You have to do what resonates with your values and puts you in the best position to heal. That these two things do not always align is a dilemma I face daily (but that is my problem and not yours).
You ask what she will do if you don't accept her 'kindness' - she will continue to oscillate between rage and kindness until she tires of it and accepts that you will never be her friend. The same tools we use to heal are the tools that she will instinctively stumble upon and eventually use to heal her self. Time, distance, GAL and 180. Maybe that process will include self reflection and she will realize the immense damage she has caused and go through the painful process of self forgiveness, or maybe her ego is such it will continue to try and protect her ("you didn't do anything wrong, why is he being such a [censored]". I don't know your W. I hope it's the former though because if it is, then she too will have grown through this process and be less likely to sabotage her future relationships.
Either way, keep walking your path, keep working on you.
