What LB55 says above is something you need to think hard about.
Reading through all your posts it appears you are still having trouble moving past the denial stage. I feel you need to accept the reality of things and start preparing mentally for the worst case. If things work out then great but if they don't you don't want to be caught unprepared.
You are desperate to save the marriage now and unfortunately this desperation will likely be your worst enemy in more ways than one. As many others have said let go of the rope. Accept that you have no control over the situation, take a deep breath and stop trying to fix things at least for a day and see how it feels. Give yourself a break from working hard to try and save the relationship. It may end up being the best thing you do for the relationship.
