Still here. Still not detached... (Part 4)

[Chris73]

Wow. 3 years since the bomb drop! I remember it was a Friday and my kids had field day at school. They were 7 and 4. Now they're 10 and 7, and I'm starting to have a hard time remembering what it was like when we were a foursome instead of a trio. I wonder how much they remember?

I've haven't really brought up the divorce subject with my ex since December, but it's clear to me now that she's trying to delay moving forward for as long as she can. If you haven't read my previous posts, my ex is self employed and was going through some health issues back then. So I agreed to delay filing so that she could stay on my health insurance while she was in the middle of appointments and procedures.

6 months later the health issues seem to be contained and my ex is in the middle of moving in to a new house that requires major indoor renovations. So I think the "I can't afford health insurance" excuse has run its course.

Meanwhile, I'm having difficulty starting up new dating relationships since most women are leery of a guy who is still only separated ...especially after this much time has passed. My explanation holds water with most people but it always feels like I'm trying to be deceptive even though I'm not.

The idea of filing without consulting with her has crossed my mind, but frankly I'm a little worried about how she might react to being surprised with divorce papers. So far we've worked through all the separation of assets and custody together without any issues, and I'd just assume that we do the same to finalize the divorce. But I'm not really sure what I'm afraid of... probably just the idea of spending boat loads of cash to litigate over something.

Anyway, "still not detached" is probably better described as "almost detached" at this point. It seems to happen on its own. I guess you just have to persevere until the emotional dust settles.