Married couple from Scandinavia

[BenB]

Update -


Our last session at the MC was terrible for the first time ever. She´s so far always looked forward to going there, at least it seems that way, but this time the MC did all the wrong things. Asked us to hold hands, look into each others eyes and say how we feel etc etc. She was laughing and so was I a few times. Some of the things he asked us to say was tell each other what made us fall in love in the first place, our dearest memory and what love means to us. I was quite angry inside that he didn´t get that she doesn´t respond to those things, not just because of our issues but she´s always hated that kind of therapy. It´s how she feared it would be before we went the first time. He was doing so well, then he messed it up bigtime by trying this.

She didn´t say that she didn´t want to go back, just that she will tell him in the beginning of the session next tme that she doesn´t want to hold hands, soul gaze and talk about the past.

I´ve started reading the DB book and I´m only a few pages in but I´ve now booked SBT counceling instead for June 3. W seemed happy to hear that and agreed we go there and if this new MC is better we won´t go back to the old one.

She said during therapy was that she feels more and more like herself every day. She wants this to work out and she hopes that this feeling will go away, that the best outcome here is if we can stay together married. I believe she means this as she is saying it but I know better than to let that give me any hope. I´ve managed to have a PMA these past few weeks so the vibe at home is relaxed. I do initiate talks sometimes but it´s always about things we used to talk about, like TV shows and new restaurants that are opening. I´m not making any plans with her(of course) but I feel like I don´t want to communicate less even though that´s what everyone recommends. Me being relaxed and talking about casual things that have nothing to do withour R and doesn´t put pressure on her seems to have made her open up more. Again, I won´t let that get my hopes up since I know this can change any time.

I´m still preparing for the worst. It´s only been close to 4 months since the mini-BD. Our first anniversary is coming up early August. I have no clue what to do. I won´t make any plans or buy any gifts but I know we will be showered with people congratulating us since Facebook will remind everyone. Anyway, over 2 months left still so I can´t worry about that now.