I am so sorry everything seems to be hitting you at once. It is really hard when you are sandwiched between taking care of parents and taking care of your personal problems.

IDK if your mom would qualify for some health services offered to people who are disabled and live alone.......or if you even want to check and see. I'm just wondering since her H abandoned her and you feel you have more than you can handle at the moment, you might make a couple of calls and get some leads about facilities or in home services that could give, at least, some temporary relief.

I wonder if you see home, as a refuge of sorts, b/c it would take you out of the stressful environment you have at your mom's place. Actually, you may exchange one stressful environment for another one. Don't let anyone scare you into doing something you don't want to do. People here can warn you about some incidents they know happened, but at the end of the day......it's easy for us to tell you what to do. Know what I mean? If you get charged or penalized in some fashion, who has to pay? Not us! Read the pros & cons, and get the legal advice of your lawyer, and do what you feel is best. Just be aware! I think that's what everyone is trying to say.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!