The attractiveness question is hard. We used to go on dates, we watched movies together, we snuggled, we laughed, we shared feelings with each other. I showed her that I cared about her feelings, but most importantly, she shared openly.
Rewind back a little farther. Don't try and be the person you were during your early dating, that's not what I'm saying. Be the person you were BEFORE the dating. What did she find attractive before you started dating?
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I'm in good physical shape. I don't think becoming attractive is the fix.
Physical condition is just one part of attractiveness. Don't be so quick to assume you are the ultimate example of attractiveness, if you were she wouldn't be treating you like she doesn't care. Confidence, charisma, magnetism, those are the things I'm talking about.
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It still seems counter-intuitive to see a problem in a M and deliberately let it go. Rather than try to fix it.
Who said not to fix it? "Now we have 3 kids and a history of hurt." You are hopefully working on that history of hurt, doing 180's on your contributions to that hurt. THAT is the work you need to do. Not applying pressure on her with constant temperature checks and R discussions.
