Ballast - I've not really commented before but I have, in the background, kept up with your sitch.
I have at one time or another thrown many of those same sentences at my H. They always came from a place of hurt and were always emotionally motivated. Anger and frustration projected outwards. Understand that it is her insecurity and her pain that she is throwing at you. She wants to be friends. After the BD dust has settled and they have got what they think they wanted and they don't see us the enemy anymore then they all want to be "friends". It's not even a plan B thing, it's just a "see, I'm not such a bad person, you're still willing to be friends with me". Men do not have a monopoly on nice guy syndrome.
If you want to build some kind of relationship (even if just a co-parenting one) then you could use this as an opportunity to validate. This will get you to a place where your interactions won't be so fraught. If you don't (or you just don't have the energy for it anymore), then say "Ok" and leave her be. Either path is fine.
