Curtis, we don't know each other and I haven't commented on your post before. But I wondered if a woman's POV here might be helpful to you? I don't know the history of your marriage, the way physical contact and affection played out between the two of you, how your intimate life was - anything like that. I don't know if your wife is a survivor of rape or CSA (many women are, and many women don't tell their husbands) but I can promise you this - the fact that you wanted physical contact with her, she didn't but seemed to go along with it anyway because she either felt sorry for you, or wanted to avoid the consequences - however minor - of upsetting you - and that you knew she wasn't up for this physical contact but went and took what you wanted and enjoyed it anyway - is very very sinister. Love is patient and kind. Love is not about you getting what you want out of someone who does not want to give it. I am putting this in a hard way but I think it is so important.
