Manta, you're not quite a year past BD so even though it probably seems like forever that's not that long. It's normal to still be feeling a little lost and confused, you're still recovering and grieving. Give yourself more time, try and be patient with yourself. Yes your W is shutting doors on the R but that has to happen before she can figure out what she wants in life.
You mentioned twice feeling "dehumanized and emasculated". That's more about your state of mind than anything your W did to you. So try and work on that. Do GAL activities that expose you to other people so you can work on your self-esteem.
Thanks AnotherStander.
I guess its hard knowing shes moved back to her home country Germany , albeit to a city on the opposite side of her home to live with AP. Starting a new job etc.
Seems like the odds of her coming back to Ireland and looking to reconcile are slim to none.
Perhaps it's early days yet. Maybe her and the AP will fall apart in time.
I know working on myself and keeping detached is best.
Who knows what the next 6-12 months will bring.
But i must focus on me again.
BH: 36 WW:33 M: 2 Relationship: 6 years. Dday: Aug 2018 0 1st mention of D: 30/09, 2nd Mention 17/02/2019 LRT: Oct 2018 WW & AP: EA & PA since June 2018 (Moved country and in with AP Feb 2019)
