so here's a question...and perhaps I should shuffle off to the post-D forum here shortly, BUT...for those who are post D, how long if ever did it take before your relations with you ex improved OR did they never improve? In picking up my D4 from WW on Friday I tried to take the high road and be forgiving. Her father has been dealing with complications from being a heavy smoker. When we met as always she never looks at me, but I encouragingly said "I hope your father's appt went well". In return I got a grunt of acknowledgement and then two verbal shots about how this or that were a mess.
Talking 15+ months now split and she's still as angry and avoidant of me as she ever was. I'm just interested in hearing the experiences of others post-D. Was it the D finally being final that opened them up, just time for them alone or did they never come around. I'm going to continue to take the high road, forgive her and keep my attention on the future, but would appreciate any comments.
-B
I am guessing B that when you are nice it causes her guilt. And her lashing out is rooted in that guilt. Just keep doing the right thing!
it is kind of like Dr. Phil says about being a better spouse to get a better marriage. Being a better spouse will almost always result in your spouse embracing that. In the rare cases that it doesn't result in that, it is still better than being angry and bitter and returning in kind.
I assume the same principle can be used in coparenting with an ex. Being the best person you can be will eventually engender the same in her. And even if it never does, it is still the best course of action for you and your D3!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
