U, you come off as very desperate and needy and paranoid for someone that hasn't been BD'd. Maybe that's just you pouring things out here, but if you are the least bit needy around W then that has got to STOP and stop right NOW. Desperate and needy is so incredibly unattractive that it will push her right out the door. You've got to become strong and independent, make yourself attractive again. Who were you when you met W? Think about your characteristics back then, compare that to who you are now, and figure out how you can be more like that guy she was originally attracted to. If she is preparing to BD you then you may very well stop that in it's tracks if you can become "the spouse only a fool would leave." But the sad and desperate stuff will just drive her away.
