Expecting BD soon #3

[Hurt213]

If I hurt my W, if I was not meeting her needs, I feel it is my responsibility as her H to try to resolve the hurt and meet her needs.

Yes, that is a very sincere approach, and a hurtful realization, that we could had done better when we had the chance, and heck, we all could, her included. However.... That was when she was INTERESTED in your efforts to resolve the hurt, when she CARED about you meeting her needs. She does not want either at this point, so why do you keep pushing? it is weak pursuit behavior, and you are worth SO MUCH more! Regain your self-respect, and realize that you are not at all the only one who has blame in these turn of events.

Yes, she is signaling the need for space. This is because she is emotionally checked out, and space allows her to proceed with her D plans. In the past, W has held in resentments and chosen not to communicate her needs, if that matters.

So, you are mind reading - You just assume she is checked out, and she is divorcing you, if you do not do something drastically. Heres the kicker. She will divorce you, if that is what she has decided to do - because, that is her prerogative. She is a human being with a free will, and you trying to coheres her into changing her mind will just postpone the fact, that you 1,2 maybe 5 years from now, will find yourself back on this forum, because things crashed again.

Let her fight her own battle - Dont engage, dont get involved, be a loving detached and strong man that is not at all affected by her choices and statements. Let her have some victories with her decisions, and let her burn her fingers on other decisions. In the end, if she decides to come back, it will have been HER choice and it will come from a place of free will - and that is the only acceptable foundation for ever trying to make reconciliation work.

Set her free in order for you to be free to love with detachment. If not, be the victim of your thoughts, and ruin your chances of happiness with her or someone else.