You can also get another ring and place on that finger. Maybe find something new to symbolize a new you. Nothing says that you have to leave that finger bare.
Also, I would sit down and have a nice chat w/your children and explain that honesty is the way to go. Advise them that you will always be there for them and listen to them and advise them what is proper and right. If they start lying now, that will become a habit and it's not a good one. Your h should be ashamed of himself for putting the kids in the middle to lie about what goes on over in that hot mess of a place.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
