Hey man! I know how some things can throw you off. Just remember that grief can come back up with small hits and it's part of the process. Maybe a decade later you might be fully immune to her actions and words. Just know that this is normal part of the journey and you're not regressing in your healing. I still get anxious when communicating with exW and I know it's going to take a long time for me to get to a complete place of 'meh'.
Sorry about the emotional pile of garbage she left you. That's totally unfair and it [censored]. She needs to deal with it herself instead of putting it on you. At this point, there is no reason to respond to her. There is no need to dredge up the past - too much water has gone under the bridge.
I know you've been diligent on the self-healing and stay on that path. Maybe a chat with an IC might help at this point. Keep flourishing and doing things in life for you.
