Ugh, that is pretty horrible of your H! I can remember a LOT of horrendous things my H has done over the years, you don't have 30 years of someone without seeing their ugliest side do you? I do feel like I genuinely forgive my H for them though, it's not forgetting them, it's just saying to myself 'that behaviour was unacceptable, he shouldn't have done that but YOU also shouldn't have tolerated it, that last part is on you', and then also realising that my H also has a list of awful things I have done to him, and thinking that if I want to be forgiven then I can only model that behaviour first and I have no control over whether he does or not. There's not much future in a M if both sides don't forgive though is there?
That sounds like a great idea about the family therapist, he might feel more comfortable if he's already met her. I hope he gets moving on it!
