Well the other thing is that every time I give H a lift to or from the station HE drives. That will not be the case with my new car No more deferring to him, and I will not tolerate him criticising my driving either. He even criticises my driving when he's had too much to drink to be able to drive. That might be good practice actually for dealing with his critical habits! Little by little I'm becoming more assertive.
Not just that, but I am putting a lid on any critical habits I have too. There were a few things yesterday where I really really wanted to send him some rude texts about things he'd done, and every time I picked up my phone I thought 'no, drink that STFU smoothie, pick your battles'. I was really angry about what he'd done, but he hadn't done any of it deliberately, it was just thoughtless and selfish behaviour borne out of his usual impatience. So I sucked up that smoothie, stepped away from my phone and was the better person. A few hours later and the feelings had gone and I was glad I hadn't started a battle not worth fighting.