Yes - I can see he is a little less reactive and he does claim to be very committed to making things work, and he will acknowledge he needs to look at himself and his own behaviour - though whether he's done that and what he's seen when he looked isn't anything he's shared with me... lol. I have a fear that it is all talk and no action - and I've been here before - but I love him and I am willing to take a risk because I have seen some action.
I needed to think about what was different when we went to MC. And what I came up with was this - he's suggested it, I didn't put a gun to his head by threatening divorce. And that he's making practical sacrifices to make it possible, including telling his line manager the reason why he wanted a change in hours and work location (this is MASSIVE for him.) He might just be doing it so he can say he's ticked the box, but I don't think so. He's massively concerned by what people think of him, and very private. And if he is, well, I will find that out pretty quickly.
I also think I am different. Not different enough. But different. I think I was holding him emotional hostage last time. It was all about my pain and distress and his resentment. I want a therapy that is more solution focused and looks forward. I am not interested in hearing him bang on about the past and I am no longer willing to do that myself either. So there is a fair bit that is different. I also feel more confident that if it doesn't work for me, I will pull the plug on it after giving it a fair chance - let's say six sessions.
