We all make mistakes M. Ease your mind on that. What Davide says is what needs to be said. We reflect wounds from our own sitches. Take a look at his sitch, or you can read Ballast´s story. Maybe you´ll find some reflection there.
Just keep your path moving forward. Don´t try to get logical answers for something that doesn´t have linear behaviors. My mind is scientific based so I usually went from there. Well, that´s not possible with mind related items.
Just give time the time you need. Free yourself from fantasy life. It´s not that easy. We all have been some time there, living in dream fueled limboland. Let her go Manta. Free yourself from that.
This forum is based on love M. We all share what we have learned from our voyages. We all make mistakes and we are trying to improve day by day.
Be the best man you can Manta. For yourself. Keep GAL, keep DB.