I see you already struggling with detaching and GAL because of your wife's list of complaints. We all buck against that.
Think of your marriage alike a car. If all is going well, you do the routing maintenance. Changing the oil, tuneups etc. However, if you neglect the routine maintenance you will have a breakdown. After the breakdown it is too late to do the routine maintenance, and in fact, doing the routine maintenance would be a waste of time. An oil change isn't going to fix a blown engine.
So yeah, the temptation when she makes those complaints is to "180" on those and do the opposite of what you should do. Detachment and GAL doesn't mean you can't make some improvements. For me GAL was not a problem due to my hobbies, just like you. But detaching doesn't mean ignoring or being absent, quite the opposite. It means you don't react emotionally to what she says and does. So you can detach, continue to stay active and busy, but be present and alert, when you ARE around her.
Keep reading. Keep learning. My W was very much where yours was, and I was able to turn it around and save my MR with consistent DBing. I struggled for the first 4 weeks, but then got much better about it. DB, and save yourself! If your MR is saved too, then bonus.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
