The struggle (for me) is, your W is still in there. She's a hostage.
Just like a hostage situation, you don't know if the terrorist is gonna start shooting people. We all want to believe our spouse will overpower the terrorist and save themselves..... but that's the tragedy of life, things don't always work out. People are lost.
If the W wasn't still in there, it'd be easy. The hard part is they aren't dead. I'm starting to realize this is just like a coma patient. Most of the time, the brain is dead and isn't coming back. The spouse grieves, holds out hope, and in time has to let go & accept their spouse is dead. The problem is sometimes they do come back, and the spouse has moved on. That movie Castaway with Tom Hanks really puts it into perspective. Tom comes back and Helen Hunt has moved on. There in the rain she tells him he is the love of her life, but can't be with him... time has passed, life has passed. Oh what could have been.
Sheesh, I've always been a hopeless romantic......
