Do you know what stopped you being present and affectionate earlier on, if this has been addressed in your counselling before? Without blaming your wife for her shortcomings, is there something about you that makes it difficult for you to show love and affection, to give time and attention to someone else, to bury yourself in work? If there is, then is that something you can work on?
Now isn't the right time to shower your wife with affection and attention. But it is the right time to look at the roots of those problems in yourself.
I wish you well. It's a hard place we're in but you're not alone.
