New here and looking for help. 2 weeks ago my wife told me she wants a divorce. We have been married 13 years, together 18. We have one child, a 6 year old daughter. I bought the DR book and am about halfway through it.
She has been unhappy for a while and we've tried counseling, once a few years ago and then again last fall. Neither were really helpful and the more recent counselor seemed more to convince her that she should divorce me. We are still living together but she plans to move out soon with our daughter. I know I haven't been a great husband and have not met her needs. We both work full time, she works from home with a good amount of travel (has increased a lot the last year) and doesn't have much time for the family. Her main complaints are I'm not good with affection, I have a lot of hobbies that take time away from the family (although that has decreased a lot the last couple of years) and I don't help enough around the house and support her busy schedule. I don't think shes having an affair but I could see her getting close to a co-worker or perhaps someone else is giving her the attention that I didn't and that is helping solidify her decision.
I want nothing more than to save the marriage but it's a one way street. I know I could change to meet her needs but she is done giving me chances and any effort to our marriage. Although I haven't finished the book I'm far enough along that I know I need to work on detaching and GAL. The thing I'm having trouble with is I believe the root cause of her unhappiness is my detachment and my outside interests away from the family. I don't see how continuing that is going to help in any way but I don't really have any other options. We aren't fighting (we never really "fought" per say, I would typically shut down and ignore the problem and her needs) and she is not open to any kind of affection or talks of reconciliation.
I know my situation is not unique but I'm really lost here. I can give a lot more details if necessary although I feel there is no way forward. Appreciate any advice or help.
