Brave Little Gerda Faces the Icy Game of Reason

[Rita]

Hallo, DnJ. I risk redundancy as usual in thanking you for your extremely thoughtful (in all senses of the word) replies to me, and for your very clear empathy. The benefit of our suffering through the same thing at the same time in history as well as at nearly the same time in our lives (age-wise) is that when you tell me you are thinking of me, this is no Hallmark card with a little wilty pink flower on the cover, and some cheesy blue script lettering, "Thinking of you" on the inside. I know it means that a friend whose name I don't even know who lives in some tiny town in some cold Canadian somewhere knows with both scientific and emotional exactitude just precisely what his friend is feeling, a friend whose name he doesn't know who lives in one of the world's biggest cities far away -- and that his heart is bleeding just a tiny bit on her behalf even as he can see the trajectory ahead that leads to a brighter moment.

And that's a rather intense comfort!

I wish you had been on the mantle in the last week because I really don't have the energy to explain all that happened --but in short, the devil has definitely built a hot little nest in my H's heart and mind and all I can do is keep pushing to get him out of here. His L is demanding $3500/mo in spousal support, not even off the top of his share of our house TBD later, for 7 months at which point I have to buy him out or sell. Right in the middle of the school year.

And on top of all that, on that anniversary day, I started suffering some signs of a kind of cancer that I am at risk for because of the drug I take since having had breast cancer. So I had to rush to doc for biopsy, and I only mentioned it to H after he kept texting me about using the car and some other stupid stuff as a way to force him to leave me alone. He never asked me about it and mercifully left town again this weekend. I told his mother and all she said was that I should tell him so that we could "be ready" for any outcome. I guess she means if I die?

Well huzzah! in that case H would finally get all the money he wants!

Sadly for him i think the worst case scenario will be a hysterectomy.

But the other good outcome of that was that my L turned into a knight in armor when I told him about it. He has gotten all fired up to fight for me and keeps telling me not to stress, he will take all the stress, and I should just take care of my health. We have court on Wed and he will be filing a motion for sole use of marital residence and for H to actually pay the child support required by law now that he has signed a visitation agreement. I have not been wanting to force the visitation stuff because now not only my S but my D do not want to see him. More on that below in response to Gordie.

OK, DnJ, I have a large pot of tea here and it's a beautiful cool day, sun pouring in but breezy, so I can bake whatever it is you are in the mood to have with the tea. What is your favorite?