I'm not sure it is time to have the R talk, but I agree that you're at a cross roads. You sound like you'd be open to reconciliation, but also ok with D.
What would you have to lose if you asked your H out on a date? I can't remember yet if this is something you've done before, but it seems like it's been so long since you separated and so much has happened that you need to get to know each other again. Worst case scenario: he says no, says he's moved on and says he wants D (worst case as in you would be rejected, not that D is something you seem desperate to avoid now). Best case: you both take it slow, see if you actually like each other now, and perhaps have something to build on, even if it's just a better R to parent your kids together and D like mature adults.
