thanks FS. I have always told the truth to him when he's asked where I was going out. My problem is he grills me on my plans and although he tells me what he's up to during the week he does have this massive, massive transparency issue with his flat and second phone.
Yes, detaching is a very, very difficult line to walk. Being cold comes easy to a distancer, particularly when I feel rejected. My IC was warning me against doing things in anger and coming across as punishing H, and that's something I have to watch for. I'm going to practice validation and more validation with H. It's a good life skill if nothing else. I had a very quick chat on the phone with him yesterday before I jumped on the tube, he'd rung in the morning so I left it till 5 to ring back. Another photo on our icloud, another tiny crumb.
I had one fun event first yesterday with a bunch of people I've been meeting every few weeks. They are interesting and it's very low key, I like this group though it changes people every week. Then I went to the friends event. It was very clearly called a 'friends' event and not a singles event, but that was not really the vibe I got by the end of the evening. I had some interesting conversations with about 3 men and 1 woman (I think there were more men there in total, it wasn't that I was seeking out male company particularly). One of the men was giving off interested body language in the direction of both me and the other woman, I really wasn't interested and he ended up giving her his phone number lol. I gave my phone number to the woman, I liked her and would happily meet her for a walk or dinner or something. I got the feeling she was up for some male company given she also gave her number to another man there lol. She was a bit drunk too, I had a couple of drinks which was more than enough on an empty stomach, it probably made me a bit loud and annoyng. It was nice to talk about things which didn't relate to my family or H and just have some intelligent conversations. My friends are great but they are all so into their families, it's good to feel like a separate person. It was also quite nice to have some male attention but it brought home to me that no way am I ready for dating, that was good to confirm!
Tired today, I have to take ds2 to his activities for most of the day so I'll work while he's there, and then do a roast dinner for the kids tonight. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend and then I might stay away for the night down that way and for the bank holiday Monday. This time with H away has been easier than I thought since I've been busy GAL. I am GAL for me, nothing to do with him, but it has made it easier to have my mind off him for sure.
