That's a big fat NOPE! Told her "Thanks for the invite, but already made plans." I would rather lose her and divorce her, then compromise my principles for this current uncommitted whacked out wishy washy version of her. Life is too short to deal with a person in this state.
What's funny is I have been thinking about the social aspects and dynamics of the entire relationship. In the beginning when she was my GF, she was totally cool with hanging out with my family and friends, but slowly as time progressed into marriage, it became more about always hanging with her friends, constantly talking shop with them, spending all her time doing crafts on couples weekends, always excluding the husbands, it absolutely astonishes me when she BD'd me that she felt I was distant around her friends, did my own thing, etc... (Well yeah duh!!! If I feel like I can contribute something towards a conversation then I absolutely will jump into convo willingly. I am a very sociable and curious person. But I operate by my own rules. But if all you're going to do is talk shop all weekend, which I know nothing about and has nothing to do with me, and do nothing with friends than complain about husbands, then yeah, I'm going to go do my own thing.) Plus even with the husband's there's only so many conversations I can have about smoking weed playing video games and shooting guns. (The guns part I enjoy.) She knows all this but doesn't understand it in her own little view of the world. Also she always felt like she had to "check up" on me in social situations. Why I have no idea? Again her view of appeasement to other people in social situations?.... Me I'm like the mayor at barbeques, holidays, birthday parties, company parties, etc. I go off and talk to people and work the room or the event. I don't feel the need to always stay with one isolated group or clique. Also what she has exaggerated in her mind over the years is maybe once or twice a year I would miss a "her friends" event, because I actually had work to do around the house, and she would Twisted into I would always cancel every occasion. Probably just a bunch of more delusional crap in her mind to justify her leaving?
Coming back to my family and friends. When I wanted to even invite them over my own house, or go out, I would get the excuse of "oh im too tired" or "oh I need my down time" or " "Oh can you take them in the yard? I'd like my space to watch TV" But when its her family and friends, it's okay to invite them over without even telling me, but I still entertain them. But it's mine? I have to do it on my own without her. Nothing but double standard delusional, but polite and accomdating presentation she puts on, still appearing as a two face phony IMO, who constantly accuses me of all the same things she's guilty of. Talk about projection?
Now I'm starting to GAL more, get in contact with old friends and hang with family more. ( I actually might be starting up a band with an old co-worker, where Im the lead singer.) All of sudden she wants to invite me to some places but not to others when it suits her needs. I'm thinking all of her friends and family have plans this weekend, so she's using me as a backup. But I'm the one she doesn't trust? I'm the one she doesn't feel safe with? I'm the one who is emotionally abusive? I'm the one she's leaving for a "better life". But she wants to hang with me when it conveniently suits her.
Whatever...She has her perceptions and I have mine, and mine are all that matters to me now. It doesn't matter anyway because I'm divorcing her. I'm totally fine with it. If someone wants out? Ill help them back their bags..For someone that wants to sell my house out from under me, separate, divide the family, etc... Life is too short to be hemming and hawing over this kind of Mickey Mouse $hit for someone that promise a Lifetime but doesn't want to work at things. It amazes me how people can appear to be so normal and level-headed, but yet crazy, and then accuse you of the one who's crazy because your ideals aren't the same as theirs anymore.
Soloflex I thought good and hard about what you said about them being emotionally bankrupt. I do see it for what it is, there are some givers out there like my wife. Keep giving and giving and giving and when they don't get what they expect in return they stop giving because they're fed up. You're absolutely right that they are emotionally bankrupt and we should try not to pity them but sympathize with it. However I will sympathize with it from my own thoughts in my own personal space in my own time from a distance. Me I don't give to get. I give without expectations, and I know that my supply of giving is limitless and overflowing and will always be there and plentiful. My authentic self will always be my authentic self. If someone doesn't appreciate it, then I have no control over that. But I do get what some are saying around here in certain circumstances about NGS. If it's not within the boundaries of a healthy relationship then yes there needs to be some type of fair exchange to gain back the respect that you deserve.
