Married couple from Scandinavia

[BenB]

Good Morning Ben

How did MC go?

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Hope you’re having a great day.

DnJ

Good morning DnJ,

Well, unfortunately she didn´t tell the truth. The MC set it up so that he asked if we have any questions for each other so far. I then said that this have been on my mind a while ago and even though I don´t think about it as much, it´s still something I would need to know the answer to if we are to have trust for each other.

When I first asked about it, she got frustrated and her first comment was "So?". I don´t rememeber exactly what the MC said but he somehow defused the situation. She then answered that she archived those photos because she didn´t want to see them. At the time there was so much tension between us it bothered her to even be in the same room as me. She pointed to the fact that they are there now to which I answered "isn´t that only because I noticed and asked you about it". She couldn´t answer that

Me: So, let me just repeat that. Even though those pics aren´t in your feed, you have to go to your profile and scroll down a but to see them, you archived them so you wouldn´t see them?
W: Yes
Me: And it happened three times and only on weekends when you are going out?
W: I suppose, just a coincidence(she´s getting frustrated)
Me: So what about Facebook? Why did you remove them from there?
W: I didn´t remove pics from there?
Me: If I go to your Facebook now, none of our wedding photos are there. The entire wedding album is gone.
W: I´ve changed privacy settings so only I can see them.

I knew now that if I kept pushing she would have exploded. She was tensing up and getting very defensive. So she doesn´t mind seeing the wedding photos on Facebook but wants no one else to see them. But on Instagram, it bothers her so much to see those photos so she archived them. But I asked the next question.

Me: Have you, during these past few months since this started, had any communication with anyone on social media or other platforms, that would upset me
W: No, I don´t think so. Have you?
Me: Of course not.
Me: When you have been out, have you made an effort to hide the fact that you are married?
W: No
Me: Have you ever flirted with anyone during this period?
W: No
Me: Have you felt the desire to flirt with anyone?
W: No

So I let it go. I can´t prove she is telling lies but her reasons sounded so far fetched. I also remembered that a few weeks ago she archived another photo of us on holiday but kept the wedding photos on Instagram. This happened when there was no tension between us so not sure how she would answer that if I asked.

The MC then suggested the couples weekend thing and she sounded positive towards going although she didn´t want to decide then. When we left the session she wanted to "hug it out" so we did. Not sure if this was guilt from cleary being caught in lies or knowing I´m on to her.

So this hasn´t really helped. I don´t know how I can trust her after this altough I sort of expected her not to be honest as I mentioend.

Our next session is already on Monday so we´ll see how that goes. I just received my copy of the DB book today so I´m reading the first few pages now.

Tried messaging Job and Cadet but it just says "private topics disabled" so doesn´t seem like I can contact them. I´ll see if I can figure out another way.