Regarding him prying when you go out, there comes a point that you just have to tell the truth. I am going out with so and so. It happened a lot at the start and, as I was normally meeting up with mums, I had to eventually say "I'm going out for dinner with the mums from D9's class" or "I think we are going to ...".
There isn't much more you can say. Everything else just comes out as defensive.
I haven't been on for a while, but I've just read back through your thread and you seem to be doing well. I would only say that detaching is a difficult line to walk. You have to balance protecting your emotional well being (by keeping them at arms length) and act in a way consistent with values such as respect, kindness and compassion. It is made harder because we all expect respect, kindness and compassion back and when we don't get it, we keep them at arms length. If lower your expectations of him (your reaction to him having WhatsApp on his phone) then you won't be pushed back into distancing. This isn't about winning him back, but about you holding higher standards for yourself than you do of him. Note: As you know, I frequently fall back into distancing ways so it is a lesson I am still working on.
Also, you should absolutely make plans without him. But it should be because you want to. Not because of anything he is or isn't doing. This journey is about you.
