Also you said if you knew she was in MLC pre-BD, you could have stopped it. Can you please elaborate?
I like a certain song lyric I've heard about patience: "Patience is a virtue / Until its silence burns you." Feels apropos to my sitch, probably to yours as well.
She's 41. What I said is if I had known pre-D filing I could have prevented the D filing. I was putting a lot of pressure on her to make up her mind which did not help. Her MLC would have happened anyway, her problem not mine to solve.
More than patience I am focusing on my own acceptance of the situation and letting go of control. Knowing I am helpless to do anything helps more than anything
This is why we push no pressure. No one likes limbo, obviously. But limbo is a gift of time. Time for the WAS to figure out their stuff. Time for the LBS to improve, make self-improvements, to focus on themselves and their kids. Time to become the spouse only a fool would leave. Time to let the open wounds that led to BD, rest and heal.
"if I had known pre-D filing I could have prevented the D filing" then you said "I am focusing on my own acceptance of the situation and letting go of control"
MLCxH, one of the most important things in DBing is to be consistent. Be consistent in action. Be consistent in principle. Be consistent in thinking.
This just hit me like a 2x4 in a brand new way. While limbo completely [censored], it is a gift. Wow, I don't think I had thought of it this way so profoundly yet.
H46 W38 M12 T15 D8,S7,S5
11/12/17 "I don't want to be married like this" A began 7/12/18 Confessed A 10/1/19 EA still happening with 2 4/23/19 "I want a D, but I want to stay until I find a job"
