I've noticed some changes these last few days. I guess if the moods are changing so will the behaviors.
So she's using the space agreement we came to, which is if she closes the door she's to be left alone. She's using it..... which I think is a success. I want her to have space so she can de-stress, collect her thoughts, and hopefully slowly work thru this. She came home in a terrible mood last night after fighting with her work friends and kept the door closed all night.
Something else I've noticed is she is always covered now, and if I'm walking by (I'm not stopping to stare at her or anything) she'll grab stuff to cover her body (such as when we're getting ready/dressed for work). It is normal to become a stranger to your spouse (in their MLC eyes)?
A positive: She cleaned a little last night, I found out when I had my midnight protein shake. She hasn't done any of that since this started. This morning I was sure to thank her for that and tell her I appreciated it. Seemed like she appreciated that I noticed and called it out. I admit I took it for granted before, I'm 180'ing that.
Yeah, I couldn't see my EXWW naked anymore. Literally, seen her naked thousands of times. But no, now she needs privacy. So ridiculous! Oh well. Plenty of other people to see naked lol.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
She can't hold any eye contact with me anymore. Really? Why is this? Guilt? Really noticed it a couple days ago, and used the last two days to confirm it. Par for the course? I'm trying to prepare for the big stuff..... but these small things really catch me off guard.
I tried a very small test last night where after making dinner, I sat on the couch with her (normally I'd be in the recliner or love seat). She didn't say anything about it, and we had a couple good laughs watching part of 50 1st dates (one of her favorite movies). She sits with her legs up on the couch, and I noticed she'd relax a bit and then recoil once she realized her feet were on the same cushion as me (not touching or anything). So strange.... like I'm a weirdo or something.
After a little while she went upstairs and closed the MBR door. Didn't see her again until I went to bed. I really like that she's using our rule for having space. I hope it's helping her de-stress and give a chance for her to work on internal issues. She's going to go visit her sister tonight and stay over, maybe that will do her some good too. It'll be the first time she's seen any family since giving her rings back to me. Who knows what will come (if anything) from that. Actually a little concerned because her sister is outspoken, and absolutely HATES any MLC type behavior because that's what her mom did (SIL barely speaks with her mom, even after all this time....almost 30 years). Maybe I'll be getting a phone call from her after the visit......
Well, I'm going to do my thing and not worry about it. Plenty of productive and fun things to do. GAL it up!!!
She can't hold any eye contact with me anymore. Really? Why is this? Guilt? Really noticed it a couple days ago, and used the last two days to confirm it. Par for the course?
Yes. Typical
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Hang in there Flex. The cycling is brutal, I’ve been all over the place today myself. Keep trying different things to distract your mind until something sticks.
Let us know how the sessions go! I’m thinking about trying it out also.
