W: I'm upset.
Me: I'm sorry you are upset.
W: I'm upset that you never listen.
Me: It must be frustrating to feel like you are not being heard.
W: I try to tell you about my day and you're always on your phone.
Me: ???

I am sorry you feel that way, I will be more present.

W: Did you write me a letter?
Me: No I can see that you are upset about not receiving a letter. Is that right?
W: I'm not upset.
Me: OK, can you tell me more?

If your relationship was on good terms : Come on baby tell me what's bothering you.

W: Did you fold the laundry like I asked?
Me: Not yet.
W: OK No problem Wow, big surprise.
Me:I know I know. I was too busy thinking about you in the black nighty you are going to wear tonight.

Again now is probably not the time for that response lol.