"WTF is she getting at? If you don't want to be with me, why do you care about whether or not I recognize you?????"
One of two reasons is manipulation and validation as her backup plan, the other is maybe she does actually care? But if she did? Wouldn't her actions show it? Believe none of what they say and half of what they do. Stop feeding their ego's. Your are proud of her... That's enough. You are not her sister, her mother, etc. You are her husband. She shouldn't expect the same emotional reaction from someone who wasn't raised within her family. It would however be you're responsibility to respond in her language, if you were on good terms. But she fired you as her husband remember?
Something I observed and realized in my sich over the last 7 months from reading and therapy. When two people are dating, they have a lot in common. But when they are married, especially when kids are involved. Have you noticed that the dynamics of our model of relationships and parenting seeps out from what our parents modeled for us? Wether it be dysfunctional or not? I noticed a lot of my father coming out in me after my son was born on how I respond to things. I'm not nearly has hard headed or verbally abrasive as he was, but it comes out. I came from a conflict family. In other words we would discuss EVERYTHING from emotions, to quarrels, to theories and mindsets, etc. My W family not so much. They are great conversationalists, but avoid conflict. Thus having poor boundaries, expression, assertiveness.
Just using that dynamic as an example. What I am saying is that, it is good to learn how to respond to meet your W emotional needs, if you are on good terms. But if W is cheating, second guessing the M, using achievement moments for validation? Why would she deserve it? The door swings both ways. if she acted like a wife you would treat her like ones if she treated you like her husband then you would act like one
This is great insight IHCLACS. I have actually seen some things in my MIL over the years. She's very strong, very proud, but boy, she sure does fish to be affirmed ALOT. This looks suspiciously familiar.
Man, my W is really lost. All of these mixed signals. Not much to do with me at our Ds award ceremony this morning, but told me ILY when we left for work.
I just feel like I do need to address the dishonesty and secrecy if she wants to work for something. I'm fine to give her time and space (lots of DB and GAL for me) but she can't have everything. I'd like to see some transparency, it doesn't have to be MC right away again, IC is fine.
H46 W38 M12 T15 D8,S7,S5
11/12/17 "I don't want to be married like this" A began 7/12/18 Confessed A 10/1/19 EA still happening with 2 4/23/19 "I want a D, but I want to stay until I find a job"
