Try Graham Nash's song Better Days. Its a good one to put in the rotation. Very emotional.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
Sister was at hospital because of food poisoning. New tire (hole in the sidewall.. grrr) and tire rotation. Oil change. Sent signed form back in for the Veteran's program. More good work outs and new muscle groups to target. Burgers with Ray. Talked about racing, drivers, airplanes,, Bailey (used to be my beagle but someone (W) is allergic)
Picking up 6 pints of Tiramisu frozen custard for my co workers tonight. Yes its that good. No its not available often because it is technically difficult to do.
Still waiting otherwise.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
Saw my Dr. on Thursday for vertigo. Had Lab tests this morning (blood work). Still have vertigo. The medicine isn't helping much. One cause may be stress.
Turbine under stress? How on earth is that possible?
Still moving toward divorce. Not by choice.
Apparently my inheritance is a big issue. Maybe the wanna be ex is really more what others see and less what I see. Not sure what to make of that.
Got paperwork to fill out for the veteran's program. Told company owner, HR, and immediate supervisor. If I pass the background check it will move quickly. So I gave a heads up.
No burned bridge there. So if only for the summer then will I have a backup? No promise but leaving on good terms never a bad idea.
No gym for a week per Dr. That will be tough, but falling over in the gym might freak a few people out, the EMTs show up... just not a pretty picture.
Getting her no card for tomorrow. I'd like to but... So in place of her I'd like to wish all the Mom's out there a Happy Mother's day. You are going awesome.
Guy's, our turn is coming so...
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
I hope they get the vertigo resolved, man that's a tough thing to live with. I had a coworker that had it for months, he could barely walk straight. It took them a lot of testing to figure it out but they did get him back to normal. Good luck!
Should get Lab results today. The nurse said she would call with results. Love my primary care team. Some times its less and then charges in hard. Did manage to get the grass cut and my laundry done. Split level house so several flights of stairs. Short but on so fun to have extra fall hazards built in.
My kids are concerned. W, not even sure she knows or cares.
Co-worker's mom passed the night before Mother's Day. So he was packing her possessions on... Always someone has it worse.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
Morning all. Not good, just morning. Tomorrow I should be divorced. We fought this morning, argued, shouted. I told her I wish I never got my inheritance. That I wish I were dead every minute since she said and filed for divorce. I regret our fight. I am sorry and can't tell or show her. I am loathsome and my returning to the Church is fake. Only God and Jesus know for sure. I only know despite all this I love her.
Started digging faster and faster.
Not feeling good about myself right now...
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
(((Turbine))). So sorry about your divorce Turbine. I know this is not what you wanted but it is something you are going to have to accept unfortunately....not just for you W’s sake but, more importantly, for your sake.
Look...with every situation in life you only ever have four choices...
1. You can change it; 2. You can change how you think about it; 3. You can accept it, or; 4. You can stay miserable
And, yes, #4 is a choice. Stop choosing #4 Turbine. You’ve exhausted your options for #1. It is time to start working on #s 2 & 3. You have to if you want to get through this and begin to enjoy all of the other blessings you have in life. Stop fighting reality and start working on change. Stop telling yourself that life is over and that you will never feel joy or love again. Start telling yourself things that are helpful... “This is not what I wanted and I am sad but I will get over it and I will love my life again.” There IS another life out there for you Turbine and it will start as soon as you let go of your W and set her (and you) free. (((HUGS)))
I'm done with her. I have tried. Really tried. Don't hate her, still love her but at a distance now. Go find your "greener grass".
More later. Not sure how compatible Turbine is with DB...
I still think lots of good in this program. The part I wanted most... she is stubborn enough to not allow a fair chance. That's all I wanted. Did I get it when I would have been trying... evidence points to no. Time will reveal if it is too late. After the past few days,for me, yeah. Leave mahal. It seems I have been blind to your true self a while. Maybe for the whole time... cheesless tunnel I know.
Yeah....
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
You haven't accepted her choice yet. You haven't set her free. Constantly you look to her to show you a sign. You pursue, you plead, you always have your mind on her. That's not DB. That's pressure. She has not felt free of the pressure from you, you never gave her a chance to miss you or reconsider.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
