Its been a week or so since I posted... I think I'm starting to feel better about myself... starting to see the wood for the trees so to speak....I started seeing a Psychotherapist on Monday last... I had a good cry.. which helped a lot... He told me to feel my pain and anger.. which is where I am at the minute - ANGRY... He wondered why I spoke so kindly about my H... after what he did and when he left, just after a miscarriage.I suppose, I understand that he is going through a MLC... and the person that is there now is not the person I married.......But at the same time I want to detach completely from him... let him go.. But I cannot get the picture of him and the OW out of my head...He has spoken respectfully to me, apologises for doing this to me, I dont deserve it etc.....''loves me'' just not ''in' love... How can I turn my thoughts away from them... I imagine them all happy and having a great time together and it just drives me crazy... I need help to get those thoughts out of my head... I know I cant fix him, but I feel like I hate for him for being with someone else...
It is a very hard place to be.. he feeling of rejection....I know on every level I deserve better...
