It is a huge effect of this pre-BD limbo. Not trying to work on issues for months, instead planning out a D, has me detaching quite a bit emotionally. I’m sure her story is that I have kept making mistakes along the way. I don’t know.
I feel you are attaching too much importance to the BD. In your case you already have the benefit of knowing what others usually figure out only after the BD. Other than that why is the BD important to you? You have to focus on detach and DB for your sake. That should not change whether you are pre-BD or post-BD.
The emotional roller coaster of trying to cope with life after divorce is tough and will take time for you to heal. Don't confuse that with the DB actions. The detaching and focusing on yourself should start now and not change with BD. Hope this helps
