"You intentionally didn't fix the throttle on my car because you wanted me to die in a wreck and collect the insurance money for yourself." I just straight up disagree with that, I can't see how she would think that, and I certainly never had premeditated collecting insurance money. This is an actual thing I was accused of by her. If I validate her statement, then she says "I can't believe you intentionally did that to someone you loved!" Does she see validation as agreement with her statement?
Maybe I am over thinking this right now.
Yeah this one is tough but remember: Validate the feeling, not her reason for the feeling. You aren’t agreeing that you intentionally avoided fixing her car. You are empathizing with her feeling.
Yes, this is the distinction I think you're looking for. So it is "That must have been scary driving the vehicle with the broken throttle" or "I see how having a vehicle with a broken throttle would be a very scary experience. I agree, that is not a vehicle anyone should be driving until it is properly fixed".
