I do agree that she's gone, so I'm not willing to push them underground until I have the evidence collected that I need, though, which is why I'm staying the course. Based on what I've discussed with legal counsel, I know what I need, and I don't quite have it yet.
Sounds rather mysterious. Is your lawyer telling you that evidence is required for the D, or to protect you financially? I'm just trying to understand.
You have not said how you know it went to PA, only that she they went to his house. Did you have someone follow her, or did you read some texts they wrote each other.....or just observing them from the workplace? You are documenting when they leave work together, but this doesn't actually prove they had sex. More than likely, they are in a PA.......but I'm asking if you are certain in your heart, or if you need more evidence for yourself?
From the stories I've read, most LBH's initially say that a PA is the deal breaker. Then they discover the PA, and they get angry, try to convince themselves they deserve better, don't find the WW so attractive, don't really desire sex with her, etc., etc., etc. However, they don't pull the plug. They carry the information around. Which it's okay if they aren't certain what they want. I'm just stating some common things I've noticed.
The other thing that stands out to me with many LBH's is how quickly they start mentioning dating or finding someone new. I usually mark it down to the fact their esteem has been crushed and they want to know that other women find them attractive. I do wonder why the rush, when they haven't even gotten out of the M with their current W. I suppose it may be how the LBH processes things.........but IDK. I try to learn about the mindset of betrayed H's, just like you guys want to learn about the WW.
((hugs)) I'm sorry you are going through this pain. Whatever the outcome, I hope you rise from the experience as a man who likes who he has become, and who no longer is dependent upon another person to define his value, his maleness, attractiveness, or his happiness.
Take the time you need. This is your life, and one of the most important decisions you'll ever make.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
