Persistent Endurance (Part 3)

[curtis7]

Birthday came and went. I received a lot of attention and caring at work and from friends and family, which was appreciated. W finally sent a Happy Birthday text in the late afternoon. Also enjoyed a nice dinner with the kids and my parents. Even though S8 asked W to join us the night before, she was a no show.

I must admit, my birthday yesterday and W’s disregard for the occasion was hard on me. I felt very sad that she did next to nothing to recognize the day and I nearly broke down in front of the kids before bedtime. W was always there for me on my birthdays and had a way of making them feel very special.

This tells me that I’m not fully detached and am still allowing interaction, or in this case, lack of interaction with my W to affect me emotionally. Detachment is not easy, when you think you’re doing well and living your life fine without WAS, certain triggers occur that cause those emotions to rush back into your mind. W is seemingly much better at detachment in this respect. Perhaps that’s the difference when you truly care about a person versus when you attribute all of your unhappiness to a person.

Who knows, maybe she does care, but has a funny way of showing it. Staying away could be how she is able to keep herself from being pulled back into a R that she feels she doesn’t want right now. Emotions trump logic with a WW.

My birthday was a good reminder on the importance of detachment and not letting W’s choices affect me. I need to pick myself up, keep moving forward, and accept this will be the norm from now on. Major life events and family activities will no longer be jointly shared, that is the choice she has made for now.