Not looking to talk my way out of it. Trying to get my W to let go of some anger first by opening up. I plan to listen and validate, maybe share a little bit depending how it goes. Then maybe we go to MC where a 3rd party might help us.
One of my 180s has been to stop pursuing talks. But I’m also accused of distance. Maybe a 180 would be just consistently being there - not pursuing, not distant, showing her I care but not over the top, periodically reminding her I’m ready to talk. It’s hard to tell what she’s thinking but the complaints about distance tell me that I need to adjust course. I’m stronger now emotionally than I was 3 weeks ago so I think I can test the waters and not fall apart if things go sideways.
Sex was a problem long before October, going at least 2 years back. Some medical reasons. My frustration about our sex life drove me to make some poor choices - pouting, begging, pleading, unwanted innuendos. Not going down that cheeseless tunnel right now.
