I read what you wrote to Gordie on his thread. It really got me thinking. You have changed so much since you first started posting (at least in regards to your relationship with H, but I believe it to be more than that). So much that it got me thinking about myself and I realize how much I have changed too. How you described your feelings for H summed up really well how I've been feeling about W. I don't feel like I love her anymore. Or, actually, I know I loved her and the person she was. She has not been that person for some time and I do not love who she is now. I don't hate her, but I don't love her either. I feel like I may still have love for her bottled up somewhere deep within myself, but it isn't really for HER, its for who she was, and maybe who she could become in the future.
I really wish you had not been living with H for the last 6 years. In the beginning I did not want W to move and it was very difficult on me when she did. But, in retrospect, I do not feel like my healing/detaching really began until she moved out. In a manner, her moving out might have saved me from hating her in the long run. I think that had she been living at home treating me bad for the last year that I might have ended up hating and resenting her eventually. Currently, I just don't think I love her anymore. I hope you are able to live away from H soon.
I hope you are doing well today! Thinking of you!!
