[quote=IronWill]Wow. I just learned a ton in these few posts. My W is at a similar point. 9 months in here. 2-3 months of full understanding on my part. My W is also in crisis, but I'm thinking she is MLC, WAS and/or perimenopause all combined. MIL has told me her 40s were bad - perimenopause through the roof. Hated husband for no good reason. She thinks could be the same with her D.
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I forgot to mention my wife is at perimenopause also. Seems like a very similar situation. I also often wonder if my wife is in crisis due to a combination of the three.
Yes it's definitely a hard thing to deal with. It's been 9 months since I've seen it outwardly, but in the various mini BDs I got she said it had been anywhere between 1-1.5 yrs before that that she started to "change". I know hormonally things are changing for her. I've seen the confusion, the forgetfulness, the outright rage at one insignificant thing. I tiptoed around my house for half a year hoping it would improve or alleviate. Ive tried very nicely suggesting if she might want to think about perhaps getting a checkup in a round about way but that was way before the big BD happened and it was seen as me trying to control her or fix her.
There wasso much anger and fury before. Now its lingering resentment - and somehow she has convinced herself I am absolutely the cause of her unhappiness.
I am by no means perfect. I contributed my share of the problems in the R, I am in full acceptance of this. But I am under no illusion of what our MR was.
I estimate I'm at about year 2.5 of her "feeling not the same"
