I Was Jerk (Part 2)

[SoTorn]

That's the trick AS - where to draw the battle line.

She has also proposed we just do a temporary schedule for now so I can move out of the house. I'm not too keen on a temporary deal but I really do want out and into my own space....

It's really up to you but I will say that this happened to me: in the 11th hour when the D was ready to file my XW suddenly hit me with additional unexpected expenses in the D settlement. I think it was something like 15k, so not a small amount. I asked her via text, very politely, if we could sit down and discuss these added items because I didn't understand her description. And believe me that is putting it mildly, what she sent me was absolute gibberish, it was incomprehensible. What I got in response was surprising, it was a fuming rant that I needed to lawyer up and we would let the lawyers fight it out in court, and "believe me, I will tell them everything and you will come out on the losing end". I literally had no idea what she meant by "tell them everything", her response just stunned me. All the D negotiations had been quite peaceful up to that point, and here she was suddenly turning into the wicked witch of the west.

Anyway I felt all the depression and anxiety that I had finally put behind me starting to creep in again, and the thought of a prolonged court battle and possible slip back into depression really had me concerned. 15k wasn't worth some possibly very serious health issues to me, especially at a time when I was in a very fragile recovery. So I finally replied back "I simply wanted you to explain where you came up with these amounts as I didn't understand your description, but if you feel this is fair then I will trust you and sign off on it." And I did, and I don't regret it one bit because it was all over, signed, filed and done shortly after.

Divorce is compromise and usually neither part walks away thinking they "won". Try to negotiate a settlement you can live with, even if it's not the one you would have preferred.

I literally had the same thing happen. EXWW was threatening to tell the judges "everything". I had already spoke with several L's. I was doing nothing to worry about. I simply responded to her telling her that she isnt going to bully me.

I had to repeat that recently when she started demanding I owe her thousands of dollars in household expenses.

That reminds me, I need to call the court to see if they added the child support to the divorce or if there isnt any expectation of child support.