Sandi. Yes. You're spot on. I was pretty excited coming from a Christian Men's Summit and I do understand the Scripture's standards of loving my wife. I am 46yo and my W is 38.
I also know the Scriptures call for Ws to respect their H which is not going on.
Last night I tried to come home and have a good attitude. Even after confronting about the number my W has been calling in hopes to reach (and maybe she has) her old AP. I even after dinner asked if she wanted to watch the American Idol finale as we were both retiring after getting the kids to bed about 9pm. She responded surprised and asked even after all that happened this morning? I said we're headed to bed, we're gonna watch something.
When I rose this morning I was still really struggling on how I actually address this issue. Stay and work on the M with transparency or GTFO. I think this is the angle I am going to approach with. I will not tolerate being Plan B or an open marriage. I am not trying to control you however, you're search for yourself has ALWAYS included other parties. So it's not working.
My Ws complaint and her ongoing war with me on whether I am an abuser is my affect, my mood, my tone, my short word responses. I can admit that I have struggled with this for years. I have been moody and in years past I used that mood to manipulate. But honestly in the last 18 months my mood has been suspicious and sad becuase I know my W is a liar and a cheater. I can't just fake happy.
I'm willing to work with my W on this in our M but I won't do it unless it's on a level playing field.
Thoughts guys?
H46 W38 M12 T15 D8,S7,S5
11/12/17 "I don't want to be married like this" A began 7/12/18 Confessed A 10/1/19 EA still happening with 2 4/23/19 "I want a D, but I want to stay until I find a job"
