Wow. I just learned a ton in these few posts. My W is at a similar point. 9 months in here. 2-3 months of full understanding on my part. My W is also in crisis, but I'm thinking she is MLC, WAS and/or perimenopause all combined. MIL has told me her 40s were bad - perimenopause through the roof. Hated husband for no good reason. She thinks could be the same with her D.
I forgot to mention my wife is at perimenopause also. Seems like a very similar situation. I also often wonder if my wife is in crisis due to a combination of the three.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
They're not really mixed signals, she's still full steam ahead with D I'm sure.
Once the D was filed the attorneys seemed to give it a life of its own so I just let that play out. I did not want to add any additional pressure on her by fighting to delay it. The process was amicable, she was not angry to make things difficult for me and I did not make it difficult from my side. If a reconciliation happens I know it will have to be after the D. If I had known she was in MLC before the D filing I probably could have stopped it. Things just moved too fast and smoothly once it was filed.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
I agree with Cadet, she's likely not at acceptance yet. It could be years before she's there. MLCers are on a long timeline, much longer than the WAS's that you may read about in this particular forum.
I am continuing to be patient and not raising my hopes. Things seem to be moving in the right direction so even if she is not at acceptance I hope she is at least moving in the right direction. When I look back, I feel her MLC first started about 2 years before the bomb drop so I would guess she is about 2-3 years into the crisis.
Originally Posted by Steve85
Learned a new quote last week. When they want to reconnect you will know. If they don't, you'll be confused. It is always touch and go until after you've R'd and pieced for a long while you can look back and see a pattern of consistent behavior on her part.
Originally Posted by Cadet
Patience will rule the day.
The hardest part of being patient is watching the damage she is inflicting during this time but what choice do I really have? Sigh!
